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Lost and Wonderful #79 of 89

someone shoot me Today’s meeting of the Lonely Bench Society is now in session. Put your hands on the broken halves of your hearts and repeat the lonely person pledge - A lonely person promises to be afraid of the truth, to love misery, to despise joy, to go days without a shower, and to be really, really pissed at God. someone shoot me Lost, Thank You for letting us move the meeting here when the bastards in the “We hate the World Club” stole our bench. one is the... someone shoot me A few announcements, first, this year's pot luck is canceled because everyone usually gets depressed, stays home and drinks themselves into oblivion anyway. loneliest number... someone shoot me And this month's loneliest person on the planet award goes to Lost for all of the shocking stories he told us about his evil roommate Wonderful. Way to go lost! clap clap clap clap that you'll ever do! shut-in and proud I like it when she laughed at you for crying! you must tell them again! Or that time when she stole your girlfriend! I loved it when she killed your cat! What's going on here? shut-in and proud What's going on here? Oh hi, I didn't know that you would be back. ummm...Everybody this is my Roommate Wonderful. Hissss! cat killer! Booo! shut-in and proud What's going on here? Are you meeting random people in the park again? Don't take that Lost! stand up to her! We're here for you! Well... shut-in and proud What's going on here? Lost, in the kitchen! Right now! we hate wonderful! we hate wonderful! we hate wonderful! Why the hell am I being heckled in my own living room? You know it's kinda a funny story. I was trying to win this loneliest person award and I exaggerated a few things. Since when are you lonely, you collect stray people like a crazy cat lady. You're a lunatic but you aren't lonely. Please don't tell them it will break what's left of their hearts. You are so busted Lost! shut-in and proud I'm sorry lonely people but you have been lied to. Lost is not lonely. In fact, for some reason I don't really understand, he is ridiculously happy. Gasp! shut-in and proud Why Lost? Why? I didn't want to hurt your feelings by being happy. shut-in and proud Remember this, the lonely don't easily forget the slights of the happy, you will pay! shut-in and proud Now what do I do for entertainment? shut-in and proud I was thinking you could hang out with your vivacious roommate who adores you. crazy as you are. You know what? Maybe loneliness was not as appealing as it seemed.