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july 4th i bought the most epic firework for the party tonight! it's called infinite Tyranity! it shoots up into the sky and forms two different-colored dragons, and then those dragons fight to the death in a cacophony of light, fire and unholy noise! it's like the fireworks from fellowship of the ring if those fireworks took acid, died and came back to life because there was no room left it hell. it cost $600, but it'll be totally worth it! you know we live in the city right? if you light that thing, you'll go to jail for a year. i've made a mistake.

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